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All Hail the Cake and Cheese

by Jane Garthson

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    This EP is free or set your own price. Please download! If you choose to pay, the artist share will be donated to a Canadian charity.

    The PDF download includes lyrics and chords for all songs. Please email Jane if you would like to receive Word or rtf versions.

    Thank you very much for being interested in my music! I would be delighted if you chose to cover one or more of these songs. Please contact jane@garthsonleadership.ca if you wish to include a song on an album or make other commercial use.
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1.
A Gonnagle of the Nac Mac Feegles For always being drunk and causing fights We were kicked out by the Queen of Fairies Now I write the poems and play the mouse-pipes And help them lift a cow from time to time Ah for my life as a gonnagle, their bard I’m the one intelligent guy in my clan Advising male Feegles is very very hard There’s narry been a one with any sense What is a Nac Mac Feegle, you may ask? Six inches high an’ sporting bright red hair For a drink or two, I’ll take on the task Telling stories of the wee free men They've been a’travellin’ for a lang lang time An’ stealing food and drink ‘cross the universe Crossing worlds is one of their pastimes Straight leg and a wiggle’s all that’s needed Ah for my life as a gonnagle, their bard I’m the one intelligent guy in my clan Advising male Feegles is very very hard They don’t stop kicking long enough to hear But they are men of honour who’d only snag A horse or pig from those who’d never miss one Never rob from the weak and respect the hag That’s what they call their local witch, you ken Strong they are and fearless in combat Faster than humans and unseen by choice Powerful with boots and fond of head-butts Even taking on the hugest foes Ah for my life as a gonnagle, their bard I’m the one intelligent guy in my clan Advising male Feegles is very very hard They’re brawny as cockroaches and dumber So you should avoid the burial mounds Unless you are a friend of the Kelda And if you’re a lawyer then never come round Their swords’ll glow blue - you’ll soon be gone Ah for my life as a gonnagle, their bard I’m the one intelligent guy in my clan Advising male Feegles is very very hard Imagine tiny, tattooed soccer hooligans! Then try to unimagine them; you can’t
2.
Forgotten Beast Cyrin shares the secret knowledge Riddles told in a flute-smooth voice With glowing tusks he will acknowledge Tales he tells are a careful choice I am Sybil, I am caught between The riddle and the answer and so There is no freedom, and much unseen Who must I call so I can know? O Lord of Wisdom with eyes of red Please answer me a riddle With eyes downcast and lowered head “That one I cannot answer” King Pwill’s three sons went hunting Seven nights later, one came back Gone half-mad, his tale amazing A moon-coloured boar they’d tracked The giant Graf, hit in one eye By a stone, his view looked inward With what he saw, he chose to die Peace could never be restored O Lord of Wisdom with eyes of red Please answer me a riddle With eyes downcast and lowered head “That one I cannot answer” The wise boar says to find the key To my riddles, search the heart Cyrin, what will set me free? Help me for I fall apart O Lord of Wisdom with eyes of red Please answer me a riddle With eyes downcast and lowered head “That one I cannot answer” Cyrin, what will set me free? Have you the answer yet for me?
3.
Rooted 03:14
Rooted I’m just a village girl, in torn and dirty clothes Been helping in the gardens and the fields I’m just a village girl, and all the village knows There’s no chance the wizard would choose me Rooted - I am rooted here for good Rooted - I am rooted in this soil Rooted - Though I fear the Wood I would never leave this land Oh, I would never leave this land Eleven will line up at the harvest feast I‘m not the special girl, the pretty one Another will be taken, to my mother’s great relief Oh, dear Kasia, my friend, you must be brave! Rooted – we are rooted here for good Rooted – we are rooted in this soil Rooted - Though we fear the Wood We would never leave this land Oh, we would never leave this land On that very day, a woman will return No tales of her lost years will she share With her new wealth, the village she will spurn Like all those before, no longer one of us (instrumental chorus) Oh Kasia, come back; be the girl we knew Remember who you are for ten whole years We’ve always known the Wizard would choose you To take you to his tower at seventeen Rooted - I am rooted here for good Rooted - I am rooted in this soil Rooted - Though I fear the Wood I would never leave this land Oh, I would never leave this land The Wizard has appeared in the village square Grabbed me by the hand and we are gone I have been ..... uprooted.
4.
Living a Lie 03:28
Living a Lie Don’t get me wrong; I love the life And it’s my best chance to survive Every day I hail the cake and cheese But every day I’m living a lie Every Aeslin mouse is cheering Well, that’s sure nothing new Every Aeslin mouse is singing hymns Cause that’s what they always do I’ve got the blue mark on my fur To prove I’m a priest but it’s a fraud For no one has convinced me yet That Verity Price is a god My ancestors worshipped chickens And some of them worshipped a tree Now I hail the Arboreal Princess but It just doesn’t seem right to me My thoughts have to stay in the closet Or I’d be gone from the colony Nobody’s heard from those that leave They’ve been lost to our history Every Aeslin mouse is cheering [Hurray!] Well, that’s sure nothing new Every Aeslin mouse is playing hymns Cause that’s what they always do I’ve got the blue mark on my fur To prove I’m a priest but it’s a fraud For no one has convinced me yet That Verity Price is a god Hail! Hail! No I Don't Know What It Is But It's Bleeding All Over The Floor! Hail! Hail! I Swear Daddy I’ll Kiss the Next Man That Walks Through That Door! So I’ll keep being one of those mice Dressed up and too cute to kill As long as there are Prices there’ll be Aeslin Keep the celebrations, yes I will Every Aeslin mouse is cheering Well, that’s sure nothing new Every Aeslin mouse is writing hymns Cause that’s what they always do I’ve got the blue mark on my fur To prove I’m a priest but it’s a fraud For no one has convinced me yet That Verity Price is a god [Spoken] Shouldn’t a god be, like, awe-inspiring? Yeah, but she’s brought Brie and chocolate cake. Guess that’s good enough for now. All Hail the Cheese and Cake! Say it with me brothers and sisters, All Hail the Cake and Cheese!

about

Four filk songs, all based on fantasy books, with my lyrics and composition from Phil Mills.

credits

released May 2, 2021

All tracks feature acoustic guitar by Phil Mills, who also added programmed whistle, bass, piano, strings, and flute. Thank you to Tom Jeffers for instrumental tracks on mandolin, bodrán, concertina and acoustic guitar. Thank you to Sue and Tom Jeffers (Stone Dragons) for backing vocals on Living a Lie. All tracks other than those provided by Tom were recorded by Phil Mills, who also did all the sound engineering and track production.

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Jane Garthson Toronto, Ontario

Involved in filk (the fan music of fantasy and science fiction) since 2003. FAWMer.

Married to Phil Mills who is an active FAWMER & filk songwriter.

Part of monthly filk song circles in the Greater Toronto area, frequent Zoom circles and filk/ fan conventions.
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