A Gonnagle of the Nac Mac Feegles

For always being drunk and causing fights
We were kicked out by the Queen of Fairies
Now I write the poems and play the mouse-pipes
And help them lift a cow from time to time

Ah for my life as a gonnagle, their bard
I’m the one intelligent guy in my clan
Advising male Feegles is very very hard
There’s narry been a one with any sense

What is a Nac Mac Feegle, you may ask?
Six inches high an’ sporting bright red hair
For a drink or two, I’ll take on the task
Telling stories of the wee free men

They've been a’travellin’ for a lang lang time
An’ stealing food and drink ‘cross the universe
Crossing worlds is one of their pastimes
Straight leg and a wiggle’s all that’s needed

Ah for my life as a gonnagle, their bard
I’m the one intelligent guy in my clan
Advising male Feegles is very very hard
They don’t stop kicking long enough to hear

But they are men of honour who’d only snag
A horse or pig from those who’d never miss one
Never rob from the weak and respect the hag
That’s what they call their local witch, you ken

Strong they are and fearless in combat
Faster than humans and unseen by choice
Powerful with boots and fond of head-butts
Even taking on the hugest foes

Ah for my life as a gonnagle, their bard
I’m the one intelligent guy in my clan
Advising male Feegles is very very hard
They’re brawny as cockroaches and dumber

So you should avoid the burial mounds
Unless you are a friend of the Kelda
And if you’re a lawyer then never come round
Their swords’ll glow blue - you’ll soon be gone

Ah for my life as a gonnagle, their bard
I’m the one intelligent guy in my clan
Advising male Feegles is very very hard
Imagine tiny, tattooed soccer hooligans!

Then try to unimagine them; you can’t